Walking into the living and I see my mom lying on the couch with her leg on a chair.
DAD: Perfect! You can help your mom massage her leg.
I sit on a stool and massage her leg.
DAD: (Ten mins later. Looks over my shoulder): You know, now is the perfect time to get revenge on you mom and get her back for all the times when you were young.
MOM: You are a horrible husband. (To me) You have a terrible father.